Written by Abigail Morgan
I had been waiting for that big miracle moment: when the angel shows up at the end of my bed and tells me what is to be foreseen in my future. Maybe the miracle would come when I tangibly witnessed a miraculous healing of a loved one. You could say I was a Christian in waiting. I wanted something to happen in my life that would make me believe and know that this God stuff was really real.
I grew up in a Christian home with parents and grandparents who were on their knees praying for me every day. I appreciated this act of love they displayed for me, but I wanted to know why and how.
Finding purpose in this world is a hard thing. Many people are successful by human standards, but they still die miserable. Being miserable does not only come from a focus on material possessions, but it is also often found when you live a life with no purpose. When you’re not able to grasp why you’re here on this earth, self-doubt and sadness come flooding in.
I’ve sat through many seasons filled with thick silence as I’ve waited for the God I’ve learned about all my life to finally whisper in my ear. My understanding was that if I went to church and did good things like mission trips and volunteer work, I would eventually encounter Him and have my supernatural God experience.
This past year, I went to Haiti for one month on a mission trip by myself. I absolutely adore the Haitian people, their love for such simple living and the joy that radiates from them is astonishing. Halfway through my trip, a nurse from Australia arrived. She was an older lady who came to work with me in the medical clinic. She talked with passion, love, and fierce joy about her relationship with Jesus. She wanted so badly for that entire Haitian village to surrender to our God. I admired this characteristic of hers, and I wanted so badly to know how on earth she had become this way.
I got up early one morning to walk to the beach before breakfast. I saw my Australian friend out on the pier by herself. She had her hands raised in the air and was dancing and praising God. Eventually, she got down on her knees, and it looked as though she was begging. I sat there and watched her as I thought to myself, “God why can’t I have this passion for you? I want to pursue you, know you, wake up each morning to praise you, and to surrender for the forgiveness I know I need.”
The truth I had been waiting so long for suddenly dawned on me. I was waiting for the perfect time for God to encounter me, but in reality, God was waiting for me to accept the offer He has. I was looking in the wrong places all along. I wasn’t seeking my Heavenly Father, I was waiting for Him to come to me.
God encounters each one of us in different ways. Stop waiting for Him to show up in a miraculous way, fall on your knees as you accept the gift He has for you every day. My Australian friend taught me how to worship and how to be thankful. She taught me how to accept the gift of life. I no longer sit back and wait for something miraculous to happen – I see miracles happen every day as we accept a life with Christ.
Deuteronomy 4:29 says, “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.”
The plan for my life is still unclear, but I know that purpose is found in God. I found purpose on that beach in Haiti and I brought it back with me to live out in my daily life. Seeking my Heavenly Father has never given me so much clarity. Surrendering to my Heavenly Father now gives my life purpose.
So when the waves of life crash, I am ready and armed with the only sustainable grace that I need, and it comes from my relationship with Jesus.