Written by Melanie Kilsby of Maple Ridge, BC

So, I hit the gym for the very first time today.
You know, I should probably keep my New Year’s resolutions and all.
It’s about time for the weights and me to have a good brawl, Thinking back, it would’ve been easier to learn how to ride on a Segway.

Excited, I spent more money on one gym outfit than any job interview.
But, who’s counting when I can think of all the clothes I’ll soon fit into!
∗Squeals∗ I can already see them now. And the shoes too!
With my new bag in hand and spandex galore, I opened the door to my “New You!”

Only to be stopped dead in my tracks by a cloud of salt and misty variations of body aroma.
Not that I didn’t see this coming, but it was quite shocking, to say the least.
“Never mind that now,” I told myself, “I am here to tame the beast!”
Determined to exercise today, even if the stench puts me into an early coma.

I got to my locker and was thrown back to middle school days; forgot my combination. Twice.
I figured the treadmill would be the best place to start.
Noticing the person next to me floating along as if this was a lost art,
I clicked the number four. It seemed good, till I was bolting faster than a wheel with its mice.

My feet were clunking, my lungs were wheezing and I felt like I was going to die.
Then, when I couldn’t handle another minute, the person to my right added on more speed.
I couldn’t let them beat the beast! I punched a sweaty finger to match the need.
But my finger slipped. My grip gave way and the clunky feet begun to slide.

My race ended with the emergency cord flying and my arms clinging on for dear life.
With wobbled legs, jutted steps, and awkward sways, I cried myself away from the machine.
I made it to the wall. I rested and stretched, taking in the whole scene.
Walking past the mirrors to my gum-sticky locker, I noticed my pitiful sight.

Though I could seriously hurl and was in so much pain, I smiled at my fate.
I took a deep breath. Stared into the mirror. Blinked. Then prayed.
Whether used sometimes as an excuse or not, I was thankful for the scripture that proclaimed,
“Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things” (1 Timothy 4:8).